In a recent podcast, renowned Pakistani actress Sarwat Gilani shared her candid views on marriage and relationships, offering insightful advice to the younger generation. Known for her strong personality and opinions, Sarwat discussed various aspects of marriage, the pressures of society, and how different forms of marriages—whether arranged or love-based—work in today’s world.
Arranged Marriages vs. Love Marriages
One of the key topics Sarwat addressed during the podcast was the comparison between arranged and love marriages. According to her, many people are quick to dismiss arranged marriages, assuming that love marriages are naturally better because they are founded on feelings of mutual affection. However, Sarwat offered a different perspective, explaining how arranged marriages can sometimes outperform love marriages in terms of longevity and satisfaction.
“Nowadays, there are no guarantees,” she said. Sarwat highlighted how people enter arranged marriages with fewer expectations from their partners, which can lead to greater success in the long run. There’s a sense of realism in arranged marriages that comes from the understanding that relationships take effort and compromise, and not everything will be perfect from the beginning. In contrast, love marriages are often idealized, and when the intense emotions fade, couples may not be equipped to deal with the realities of life together.
She also pointed out that the longevity of relationships is not always determined by how they begin. “Sometimes, a six-year love relationship can fall apart in minutes,” she remarked, illustrating that even the most passionate love stories can unravel quickly when faced with real-life challenges. Her advice to those in relationships was to be prepared for the ups and downs and not to rely solely on the initial emotions that brought them together.
Maturity is Key in Marriage Decisions
Perhaps the most striking piece of advice from Sarwat Gilani was her strong stance on the age at which one should get married. “Never get married at 20,” she warned. Sarwat believes that 20 is too young an age to make such a significant life decision, primarily because people in their early twenties are still in a stage of self-discovery. According to her, individuals at this age are often confused about what they want out of life, let alone a lifelong commitment.
Sarwat suggested that waiting until you’re at least 30 to get married is a much wiser choice. By the time you reach 30, you’ve had the time and experiences to better understand yourself and what you need in a partner. You’re more emotionally mature, likely more financially stable, and better equipped to handle the demands of marriage. “You need to be strong enough to take decisions,” she emphasized, referring to the strength and clarity that often come with age.
The Importance of Emotional Strength and Independence
Sarwat also spoke about the importance of emotional strength when entering a marriage. Whether it’s an arranged or love marriage, the challenges are inevitable, and it takes inner resilience to navigate them successfully. This emotional strength is often lacking in younger couples, which is why many marriages that begin in one’s early twenties may struggle or fail.
Being emotionally prepared means knowing who you are, what you stand for, and being able to communicate effectively with your partner. It also means having the ability to compromise when necessary and knowing when to stand your ground. Sarwat emphasized the importance of both individuals in a marriage being strong enough to make difficult decisions, whether it’s about staying together, setting boundaries, or dealing with the highs and lows of married life.
Societal Expectations and Marriage Pressure
In South Asian societies like Pakistan, marriage is often seen as a societal expectation rather than a personal choice. People, particularly women, are often pressured to marry early to “settle down” or fulfill family obligations. Sarwat Gilani touched on these societal pressures, reminding the youth that they should not rush into marriage just because society expects them to. Instead, she urged young people to focus on self-growth, education, and building a career before taking on the responsibilities of marriage.
She explained that waiting until you’re emotionally and mentally ready for marriage will ultimately lead to more fulfilling and successful relationships. By the time individuals reach their late twenties or early thirties, they’re more likely to know what they want from life and can approach marriage with a sense of maturity that’s often missing in younger couples.
Final Thoughts: Sarwat Gilani’s Wisdom on Marriage
Sarwat Gilani’s advice on marriage reflects the wisdom she has gained from both her personal experiences and her observations of the relationships around her. Her message is clear: don’t rush into marriage, take the time to understand yourself, and don’t rely solely on romantic feelings to carry a relationship. Whether it’s an arranged marriage or a love marriage, the key to a lasting partnership lies in emotional maturity, clear communication, and realistic expectations.
For young people feeling the pressure to marry early, Sarwat’s advice offers a refreshing perspective—wait, grow, and make sure you’re ready before committing to a lifelong partnership. After all, as Sarwat herself emphasized, “You need to be wise first.”
By following this thoughtful approach to marriage, young people can set themselves up for success, ensuring that when they do finally say “I do,” they’re prepared for the challenges and joys that lie ahead.
