Cannot Find the Answer? Phone a Friend

For the most part, people generally like to think that they are in control of their lives, but there are those occasions when a second opinion is needed. A loving partner or close member of the family will usually be our port of call but often we need unbiased comments, no judgement, and we phone a friend.

I was thinking about this recently, and realised that friends are like clothes, we need different ones to suit different circumstances.

Living in a foreign country to your place of birth, highlights how important friends are to you. Yes, you make new ones but they tend to be acquaintances rather than the deep profound friends that you have had either from childhood or through work.

These longstanding friends know you intimately, you have shared good times and bad with them. You phone them maybe after a few months and there they are, just as if you had been speaking yesterday. You pick up where you left off, no atmosphere, no judgement, just a seamless slide into conversation and a library of memories to think on, some to make you laugh others with some regret but never, ever, uncomfortable.

These friends don’t need to find a place with you, they are, but nowadays I feel that more and more of us need different types of friends.

The total turmoil of recent years has led to much greater stress, putting people in situations that once would have been unimaginable.

It is these periods when turning to your old friends may not be the answer. You need someone without emotion who will listen to you, offer good suggestions, open new ideas to you and maybe point you in a new direction. These new people come in the guise of mentors, some offer alternative lifestyles, some new ways of thinking, others just listen and give you hope.

I have recently come across a couple of these mentors, one whom I have known for a while and in moments of crisis; she has been at the end of a phone no matter where in the world she was. My other new mentor I have only spoken with a couple of times, but she has given me such insight that it is changing my life. It was after my last call with her (she is in America) that I realised that although what she had suggested to me, I knew already, the way she phrased and presented it to me was like opening a door and letting the light in.

It is often said that when we ask peoples opinion we don’t really want it, just merely to say our thoughts out openly as a sounding board and see how they bounce back. With a mentor is different, you put yourself in a help position, you are blocked and cannot see a way forward.

The frustration of exploring every avenue only to hit a dead end requires a different thought and energy. The great news is nowadays with the internet there are many ways of finding a contact and networking can lead you to some extraordinary people. Whether it is trying to find a new direction, talking with someone who understands exactly what you are going through, or just getting you out of that negative spiral, a good mentor is invaluable.

Now I am not advocating that you rush and contact every site offering magic formulas, it takes time to find the right person who is on the same wavelength, and trust me I have been through the process, but I do believe that eventually you will be drawn to the right person.

It was interesting because during my recent conversation, explaining a road I would like to peruse was told “when the time is right, it will happen, stop trying to control” I took this onboard and realised, that was exactly what I had been doing and so I let go. The next day, unexpectedly I received an email, totally unsolicited from someone dealing in exactly the field I am interested in pursuing, just as a general mailing. I am now following that line of enquiry and will keep you posted.

The importance of friends cannot be underestimated and equally you are important as a friend to other people. It is interesting that no matter what is happening in our lives, others too confide in us.

The internet has opened up a whole world allowing us access to people previously unavailable and opportunities to change our dynamics.

There is no need to feel alone with your problems, someone out there is ready to help you, but just like coming home from a hard day, slipping on your favourite jumper or comfortable slippers, our old friends are still there and will never be thrown away.

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Friends For Life, Friends For Health

By any traditional nutritionist’s account, the weekend I just spent in Denver with my college girlfriends would rate as “bad for my health,” with the possible unwanted side effects of weight gain, inflammation, blood sugar instability, and sleep deprivation, to name just a few. But despite not enough sleep, more than my usual dose of caffeine and wine, sugar-laden cinnamon rolls and scones each morning for breakfast, I would have to argue: This weekend was probably better for my health than an enormous plate of broccoli (even with a side order of kale).

Time spent with friends is time well-spent, not just because it’s FUN, but it is also GOOD FOR OUR HEALTH. Study after study shows that social connections bring down our blood pressure, our heart rate, and even our cholesterol. People with stronger support systems have less stress, stronger and more resilient immune systems, lower rates of depression and anxiety, and even lower mortality rates. According to Daniel Goleman, in his book Social Intelligence, “the impact [of close friends] appears to be so strong that friendlessness has been found to be as detrimental to a woman’s health as smoking or obesity.” Not only does a person who feels a sense of belonging have a better chance of staying healthy than someone who is isolated, but when we do get sick, we have a better chance of recovering from that illness.

In my work with clients around their relationships to food, I am always interested in the quality of their relationships to the people in their lives. Do they have strong connections, a sense of community, people who they can turn to and feel supported by? Although I believe that good nutrition can improve energy and mood, which in turn, can help with relationships and connections to others, the opposite is also true: Our relationships, our friendships, our connections – and how we feel about them – can profoundly affect our relationship to food.

Think about it for a minute: When you are feeling isolated and alone, do you ever turn to the refrigerator for comfort? When you are feeling angry and misunderstood, do those crackers or pretzels provide momentary relief? When you are frustrated or sad, or perhaps feeling uninspired or bored, is it the Chubby Hubby ice cream that you hear calling your name.

Yes, those foods taste yummy and we all indulge once in a while. When those cravings SCREAM at us from the inside, and we end up turning to them INSTEAD of another person on a regular basis, however, it may mean something else is up.

Many of the comfort foods I just mentioned DO provide a biochemical, PHYSIOLOGICAL sense of relief- they immediately affect our blood sugar levels and alter our brain chemistry, and they feel goooooooooood (in the short run). Interestingly, when we are feeling connected to a friend or a partner, when we are feeling love for another or loved by another, our brain chemistry and our biological health is also affected. This time, however, the long-term effect on our body’s health and chemistry is positively affected.

Although positive relationships and connections are GOOD for your health, negative relationships can be BAD for your health, You know the ones I mean: the colleague who DRAINS you every time you see him; the old friend who seems to mean well but somehow makes you feel worse about yourself after you spend time together; the friend who somehow doesn’t seem able to see past herself to what’s going on for you. Not only do these relationships deplete you and negatively impact your physical and emotional health, but they also may make you “hungry” for more…and that more is unfortunately often temporarily found in a pint or so of ice-cream.

The following tips will help you reap the benefits from your relationships:

1) Remember that friendships and connections are not a luxury. Like sleep and good nutrition, they are vital for good health.

2) Every day, reach out to someone you care about – call them, send an email, or make time to see them.

3) Connect with yourself every day – whether it’s through meditation, journal writing or a walking alone through the park, taking time to have a relationship with yourself is key to maintaining healthy relationships with others.

4) Give what you would like to get. Instead of waiting and waiting for someone to be a “better friend,” or more supportive, try reaching out and offering what you would like to get in return. Although this may sound clich?what we give to others usually comes back to us in spades.

5) Minimize your contact with draining, negative people. If you can’t minimize contact with them, develop solid boundaries so you don’t absorb their negativity.

6) Eat several meals a week with people you like…allow yourself to experience and absorb the nourishment that comes not only from the good food, but also from the connection. Some studies show that eating with someone in a supportive environment may play an important role in enhancing our health.

7) If you have children, take time to connect with them and help them develop deep connections with others. Studies show that socially adept preschoolers have lower levels of stress hormones (which is, of course, good for their mental and physical health).

Take a risk in your friendships: reach out to someone new that you felt some chemistry with; share your vulnerabilities and concerns with friends and allow them to support you; let your friends know how important they are to you.

9) If you are feeling lonely or disconnected, join a group, a club, or a class. In fact, join several. If one or several of your relationships are strained, make the effort to improve them.

10) If all of these suggestions feel “useless” or uncomfortable, consider taking a look inside: Are your thoughts or feelings preventing you from allowing yourself to get close to others? Do you feel unworthy of having good friends? Are you afraid of having close friends?

The challenge for all of us in our busy lives is to make the time for our friends, for a leisurely lunch (not a business lunch), for a walk in the woods (not a power walk), for mindless telephone chatter (not to arrange a carpool or play date), for quality, focused time to connect. Make a commitment to yourself to do at least one thing this week that will enhance the quality of your connections…and allow yourself to experience the positive impact this has on your well-being.

Karen Schachter is a licensed clinical social worker and certified health counselor who is committed to helping girls and women find peace, nourishment and well-being with food, eating, and in their bodies. To discover how to connect with your daughter and guide her toward healthy eating, a strong self-esteem and a positive body image, visit http://www.dishingwithyourdaughters.com/7-step/.

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Old Friends and Old Shoes

Old friends are like a comfortable pair of shoes. They can be placed in a closet, always available but unseen for extended periods of time. When they are eventually retrieved and worn, we are often surprised and pleased at how good they feel and how well they mold to our body. After a few minutes, it is as if they had never left our feet. Later that evening, as we put the comfy shoes back in the closet, we vow to wear them more often.

I had the good fortune to see a few old friends in the past week, under completely different circumstances. One circumstance was a friend passing through town. The other was a mutual friend passing through life. Two occasions, one happy and one especially tragic, but the common denominator was the sight, warmth and love of old friends.

As we tend to the daily structures of our lives, we become engrossed in the minutiae – work or looking for work, bills, meal schedules, play, sleep. Structure is not a bad thing; it keeps us focused and moving and is necessary for growth. The downside, though, is that our peripheral vision becomes strained. We look ahead, we think about the future, and we act for tomorrow. In our zeal to push forward, we can easily lose focus of our surroundings and fail to clearly observe anything outside the direct line of sight. Similarly, in response to our requirements, we tend to purchase a new pair of pants or shoes, ostensibly thinking ahead but overlooking the dusty pair in the corner that might be what we really need.

One of the immeasurable blessings of old friends is their keen ability, expressed through long forgotten anecdotes and personal observations, to shed light on ourselves. It represents more than a mere historical connection to our past, but a providential deconstruction of our being. A good old friend has the facility to penetrate our soul, unveil us to the world, and gently put us back together again, a better person. Never overtly judgmental, the old friend allows us to share without the constraints of work or societal impositions. In the process, we may tell silly and embarrassing stories, we laugh, we expose our unvarnished underbelly, and, in the end, we become ourselves. Incredibly, this healing process can occur within seconds. The first sight of the dear old friend, followed by the long hug commensurate with time away, supplies us with tactile salve that serves to immediately dissolve barriers. Spending time with an old friend is reconnecting with one’s self.

As we enter the second act of our life, there is a yearning to link with the past and complete the circle. Recently, several good friends have begun to send their children off to college. In many cases, this transitional milestone appears to have triggered a desired reattachment with the past. With children well on their way to adulthood, there is an opportunity to reclaim an identity that may have been suppressed for years.

I am grateful to reconnect with the small group of “friends of the heart”, as one aptly described the collection of tight-knit friends, and look forward to never tossing those comfy pairs of shoes.

http://www.dailyharangue.com

The Daily Harangue was started by a group of friends who had much to say, but agreed on little. These candid discussions on topics ranging from politics to music, nature to art, life, love, and the human condition have always been a free flow of ideas that serve to strengthen, rather than to destroy, the bonds of our friendship.

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Are You in Love With Your Best Friend? Make Her Go Crazy For You!

If one ordinary day, you wake up and realize that you’ve fallen madly, deeply in love with your best friend, don’t get alarmed and start expecting the worst — most of all, don’t suppress the feeling. That’s usually our initial reaction, thinking that it’s a crime to fall in love with a friend. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that — frankly speaking, it’s even actually normal. Spending so much time together and sharing so many things in common, we’re bound to fall hard and it’s not our fault if we do. So instead of whining inside your room, why not try to make her fall for you as well? If you’re tired of all the drama of pretending and finally accept that you’re in love with your best friend, then here are a few tips on what to do — and finally make her crazy for you!

• Never think of avoiding her. Why? I mean, why think that? Love is a wonderful feeling and if you keep that stored inside you, it’s going to make you feel even worse. Let it show, let it flow! Stop thinking you’re going to risk the friendship to ruins if you do confess your feelings — who knows, she’s actually feeling the same with you.
• Talk to her more than usual. If you usually see each other once or twice a week, why not make it everyday? The more you spend time together, the more chances you can send her a few mixed signals of what you really feel — making her more aware and attuned to you. Tease her, flirt with her, make her laugh — feel good and have a great time together!
• Surprise her every once in a while. Why not send her a bouquet of roses just for the fun of it? Not only will she be flattered (and will be wondering nuts what it means), it’s also a big step into actually telling her what you feel.
• Stop treating her like a “buddy”. Treating her as one of the guys may have been an old habit and it sure it hard to kill, but if you want her to see you at a different light as well, then maybe it’s time you see her as a lady — someone meek and gentle, someone to protected and loved.
• Ask her what she feels about you. This can be pretty tricky — asking her what she feels about you is like telling her exactly that you already have feelings for her. But sooner or later, you need to get to this part — so why not start early? Do it tonight!?

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What to Do When You’re in Love With Your Best Friend – 5 Tricks to Be Her Lover Instead!

Most guys would confess that being in love with their girl best friends is a curse — it’s enough to drive you mad and you have absolutely nothing to do about it. Well, have you ever considered confessing your feelings to her? Chances are, you have, but you’ve probably tossed the idea the minute in entered your head. Let’s get dramatic for a while — if you store up something as beautiful as love, suppress it, trap it, whatever, it’s going to make you sick. Love and risk go hand and hand and nothing’s going to happen if you don’t do something about it. It’s time to take that full swing turn and plan on what to do when you’re in love with your best friend. Here are the top five tricks to be her love instead!

• Drop hints. Flirt with her! It’s harmless and subtle and there’s a great chance to know if she’d actually flirt back. Compliment her, tell her she’s getting prettier, hold her hand or give her a kiss when she least expects — keep it playful and innocent — she’d definitely start thinking about you in a different light.
• Disappear for a while. Make her miss you. When things start to get a little serious on you, try to organize your emotions for a while — and then hibernate. It’s a great way to find out if she’ll miss you too. Don’t play hard-to-get though, there’s a great chance she won’t get that hint. Just disappear for a while and then see her when you’re ready.
• Send her a surprise. A gift, a stuff toy, chocolates or a bouquet or roses, perhaps? It may cheesy for you but it can be downright romantic for her. Especially when she’s your friend. That’s one sure way to stir up her emotions towards you. It’s a perfect gesture of saying you’re in love with her but still can’t have the courage to say so.
• Act a bit more possessive. When she’s out with her own friends or some guy buddies or she gushes about her new crush, act a bit bothered and get jealous — that would surely come as a surprise for her especially if you haven’t done it before. Jealous is a strong emotion that can show love, at one point.
• Make her do the first move. When you’ve dropped so many hints, hibernated for a while, sent her a present and got jealous, wait for her reaction. Waiting is actually not a very good option but at least try to observe her initial reaction. When she asks you if something wrong, that’s your cue to confess your feelings — if you’ve gained enough guts, of course.

Do you want to become a master when it comes to the art of flirting? Do you still want to know more when it comes to how to flirt with women and more techniques on attracting nice cute girls? Unravel more secrets of seduction and what to do when you’re in love with your best friend by visiting my website right now. It holds all amazing techniques on how to be great and sensual with women you thought you’d never get a chance with!

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The Best Way to Make and Keep Friends

Connections are everywhere: cell phones, the internet, Twitter, Facebook and texting to name but a few. You name it and we are connected to it. But what about more than a cyber-connection or a cold, faceless hyperlink on the internet? Friendships are hard to come by these days in a multi-tasking, fast paced world. So, how should you find friendship and, more importantly, how do you sustain a friendship once it starts?

One of the key points to remember when making real friends is being real. An authentic person can sustain a relationship whether it is a friendly, work or romantic relationship. People that pretend to be someone they are not will eventually turn into their real selves and you will probably lose interest. You have to be able to recognize authenticity in others, as well.

You have to be able to see which other people are compatible with the real you. I am not talking about the semester-long “friends” we made in college: best drinking buddies for 16 weeks and then nothing. Those friends are only “context friends”. They only exist in the given context. Work, neighbors and hobby friends are also in that category. To find true friends to whom you can share most, if not all, of your life with are the ones you find when you are true to yourself.

Another key to attracting a true friend is to remember that they are looking for something, too. Give them something to like. If all you do is work, go home, and watch television, you are not giving them much to like. Try taking a class, join a gym, read a book or join an organization. People like other people who are active and interesting. Remember to only get involved in things that you are truly interested in. Do not do things or join in with things because that’s where you think you will make friends.

The key to getting good, true friends is to be the kind of person others want as their good, true friend. When you do that, a connection will be made that will not get broken. A good friendship based on honesty will last.

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How to Improve Your Conversation Skills

Conversation is a tricky animal. Sometimes it flows like wine at a wedding, sometimes it falls flatter than a pancake on an Indy racetrack. For those of you who are natural conversationalists, you don’t know how you do it–you just do it. For others, however, conversation is a mountain that we’ve made out of a mole-hill.

I consider myself to be a decent conversationalist. I can hold my own in a social interaction. For the most part, I don’t find it too intimidating. It hasn’t always been like that, however. I used to be an extremely shy person, turning red at the slightest hint of attention that was drawn to myself. It’s taken years of self-improvement for me to get to the place where being social with strangers isn’t intimidating. In this article, I want to share some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

The most profound advice I received about conversation came from a christian psychologist named James Dobson in his book entitled Life of the Edge. I read this book several times as a teenager and, while the christian undertones are too much for me anymore, I still believe there’s a lot of wisdom offered in this book. The most profound piece was the part I read about conversation.

Dobson compared conversation to a tennis match. In a tennis match you have the server who holds the tennis balls and the receiver who stands across the net waiting for the serve. The server lobs up a ball and serves it across the net and the receiver takes the ball and hits it back. They volley the ball back and forth until the ball flies out of bounds or gets by one of them. At which point they serve another ball and another until the game is over.

Now, imagine if the server sent a ball across the net and the receiver just stood there. How many serves do you think it would take for the server to get frustrated and walk off the court? Probably not many.

Conversation is the same way. To illustrate, I want to show you two examples. The first example is of someone who lets the “ball” go past them or catches the ball and holds onto it. The second is an example of a free flowing conversation as if they volley the ball back and forth.

Example 1:

John: Hi. How are you?
Joe: I’m fine.
John: Nice weather we are having, huh?
Joe: Yeah.
John: You from around here?
Joe: Yeah.
John: Well, uh, ok. I’ll see you later.

Example 2:

John: Hi. How are you?
Joe: I’m good. How are you doing?
John: Good. Nice weather we are having, huh?
Joe: Yeah. I hear it’s going to rain later.
John: Man, I hope not! Are you from around here?
Joe: Yeah. I live a couple blocks up the street. You?
John: Yeah. Actually, we live pretty close to each other because I live a couple of blocks up the street too.

Which conversation do you think went better? Did you notice how, in the second conversation, Joe was returning John’s statements with something that had response value? That’s the key of any conversation–response value. If what you say has response value, you expect someone to return it with something you can add to and build on. If it doesn’t, then the person you are talking to has to either find something else to say or get out of the situation.

Another good key of conversation is the ability to ask questions. There is a delicate balance to this, though, because if you hound your partner with questions, they are going to get a bit annoyed with you. Nobody likes to play twenty questions. My advice is to use questions to prime a conversation that is going dry or dying out. Listen to the person you are talking to and see if you can’t add to what they say in a way that allows them to know you better and still has response value. Talking about mutual interests will help fuel conversations like this, which is why topics like sports and politics are so popular because everybody has an opinion on those things.

As you get to know someone better, you can start talking about more specific interests Use topics from the headlines to get to know people. As you discover their interests, hone in on that interest and delve a little deeper–both by asking them questions and divulging something about yourself. If possible, try to steer the conversation towards things you are mutually interested in or you are going to be stuck listening to someone all night and won’t find mutual enjoyment in the conversation.

My final piece of advice is not to worry about silences. If a conversation dies and you find yourself in silence, don’t sweat it. The mark of true friendship is the ability to comfortably share silence. Remember that it takes two people to be silent, so if the other person isn’t talking it’s not YOUR fault. Just roll with the silence and see if something else doesn’t arise that you can talk about.

That’s the basics. The only other thing I can tell you is to practice. The more you practice, the better you will get it at–just like a tennis match. So, lob up the ball and serve it and see where it takes you. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised.

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Mapping Midlife – The Magic of Friendship

Lucy and Ethel; Rachel, Monica and Phoebe; Betty and Wilma. What do they all have in common? They were – are – lifelong friends. Somewhere out there almost any day you can find a rerun of these great friends supporting each other, sometimes annoying each other, but always there in the end. Over the course of our lives, our friendships with other women become increasingly important. Illness, divorce, the empty nest, our parents’ deaths, loss of a spouse or other significant relationships are inevitable as we age. “It is our friends who keep us anchored and grounded amid the sea of changes within us and around us,” says Patricia Gottlieb Shapiro in her book Heart to Heart: Deepening Women’s Friendships at Midlife (Berkley Publishing Group, 2001).

Unfortunately, for many of us, our friendships get put low on our list of priorities, robbing us of a significant buffer against sorrow and stress. Our need for a support network never changes.?Research tells us that maintaining strong connections with others, whether family or friends, is highly correlated to longevity.?Who is in your network?How often do you review your support system??Here are a few questions and a simple model:

Basic Questions

1. How often do I communicate with this person?

2. What common interests do we share?

3. Is this relationship focused in the present or only in the past?

4. Is this person in my inner circle or farther out?

None of these questions automatically rule anyone out of your circle, but they may place constraints on the friendship that will become clear as you set up your support network.?

Support Network

Your support network is your inner circle. This is a group of four to eight people you know you can count on. In a good network, you don’t count on the same person for everything. Try to think of two names to put in each of the four categories.

1. Cheerleaders

These people give you unconditional positive support for even your smallest achievement. You can count on them to break out the champagne – real or virtual – to celebrate every good thing in your life. Call on them when you need a boost to celebrate even the tiniest baby step.

2. Comforters

These people are naturally soothing. The will listen to endless renditions of your tale of woe and be as sympathetic on the 40th telling as on the first. They show up with tissues and chocolate. Nothing is ever your fault in their minds.

3. Clarifiers

When you’re ready to plan, these are the people you need. They will break every idea down into the tiniest steps, help you set goals, identify plans to overcome obstacles, and leave you with a great plan and several back-ups. They help you make your every dream crystal clear.

4. Confronters

These are the folks who keep you honest and on track. They hold you to your announced plan. And they won’t entertain any excuses. Need a good, solid boot firmly placed behind you? Call a confronter!

This is the inner circle. It can shift over time. You may be lucky enough to have at least two names in each category. Some of these friends may drift into the outer circle for a time; others may replace them. Review this list twice a year – and see who you serve in these ways

Everyone Else?

Some of us prefer a large circle of friends; some a small cluster. It doesn’t matter. What special gifts does each of your friends bring? What do you bring to them? Take a moment to express gratitude for each of your friends. Cherish them all.?

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Tips For Maintaining a Good Friendship

People always have small number of real friends and numerous acquaintances in their lives. Like any other relationship, a good friendship takes time and effort to build and cultivate. It just like a seedling, first you plant it, and then you need to care for it and feed nutrients now and then. You observe and appreciate it as the seedling gradually grows into something flourishing and beautiful. It is necessary to spend time and effort in maintaining a friendship so as to grow a very good friendship. Here are some useful tips for you.

Be an equal contributor to the friendship. You should understand your attentions are one of a giving nature not one of expectation, which means you are willing to contribute something to the relationship in order to grow it, and make sure that the giving is mutual. Everyone does not want such a friendship where you are continuously contributing while the other one just sits there doing nothing and sucks all your efforts.

Be a good listener. When a friend is telling you something, sometimes he or she is not looking for an opinion or advice but rather a sounding board to vent to. People always know what they have to do and need to do, but you should know it would be positive for them to express an uninterrupted idea in handling the situation. Sure, there are possibilities that a friend will elicit your non-judgmental advice, and you may help them go through the difficult situation by giving them the responsible words.

Encourage and inspire your friend frequently. A true friend will have the ability of steering the other one out of difficult circumstances by encouraging the other one to make responsible decisions and motivate them to be the best person.

Be witty when pointing out a friend’s mistakes. There are times when people may not be aware of their mistakes or may felt what they did is reasonable. Taking a sincere and honest attitude instead of harping on the situation until you are blue in the face, otherwise, you will end up with both hurt feelings and a possible loss of the friendship.

Try not to be a clingy, needy and controlling friend. Every friendship has its breathing room, and a real friendship will stand different severe tests, such as tests of time and distance. Of course, you may enjoy spending sometime with your friend but not being with them all the time.

Be a reliable friend who can be counted on. For example, telling you will be somewhere, but when you cannot be, you are courteous enough to contact them in advance.

Know when to agree to disagree. Different people have different opinions, and it is normal phenomenon that further makes each person in the friendship interesting. However, the friendship can be destroyed when people are arguing over insignificant and petty things.

Learn to keep private information private. When a friend confides in you with some private information and wants you keep it, then you should make sure it is not blabbed to other people. Only in the case that the private information shows your friend is in a harmful situation, and then you should help them seek out help. Sometimes a third party may be involved so as to help you best assist the friend.

Share happiness and sorrows with your friend and be the shoulder for the not so good times.

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Relationships – The Power of Having Good Support in Your Life

I just got back from the golf course. No, I have not turned over a new leaf and decided to take up the sport. In fact I had to use a map to find the place!

The reason that I chose to do this “not like Linda” activity is because I had arranged to meet with a fellow-columnist Trevor Moore. He is a golf pro and magician who, like me, has a wide range of interests outside of his normal career.

Over the years I have found that it is so important to have a group of friends, supports and other professionals who are of differing ages and backgrounds. This allows me to widen my experiences and broaden my perspectives on life.

Sometimes you want your family to be your family and your friends to be your friends but the boundaries get watery and the next thing you know, you start repeating yourself and becoming boring. I NEVER want that to happen.

Arriving at the golf course was an interesting experience as I have never been at one in the city – or probably anywhere (other than for fine dining experiences). I wasn’t sure where to park, what door to use to enter the clubhouse or where I could and couldn’t wear my shoes. The pro shop offered a number of pieces of equipment that I had never used and the clothing was a different type than I would find in the stores that I usually frequent.

But….when Trevor appeared, all that disappeared. He was kind, welcoming and offered me my favourite beverage to start (a diet coke). Then we sat on the deck and talked as though we had been friends for years.

It’s good to expand your horizons and develop relationships with people! You learn about things you had never even thought about before! At the same time, you share the things that you have in common.

What a lovely experience! Who knows, maybe I might even take up golf some day!

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